I’m spending most of today relaxing in bed and watching Pretty Little Liars on Netflix.
I just had a delicious lunch of two pitas with tzatiki, a peach, and a chocolate chip oatmeal cookie. Absolutely delicious and filling and yummy.
If you ever wondered what I get up to at camp when I’m super hyper and surrounded by friends, this video will give you a good indication.
Warning: it is highly embarrassing!
My flight doesn’t leave for another half hour (kill me now, this is taking forever), so I’m starting to brainstorm a grocery shopping list.
So far, I have Jello, Greek yogurt, and crackers.
I find it really funny how I always get anonymous messages about how I don’t know to treat injuries.
I did make a stupid decision early on to try and fix it by stretching really intensely. Ashleigh told me it was stupid, I did it anyways, she was right.
Other than that, I’ve been resting it for three and a half months which is a ridiculously long time in my opinion. I think it’s finally ready to start slowly building flexibility back up again, which is exciting.
But, no, I never went to see a doctor.
My laptop is at 30% battery, so if we could speed up the whole boarding/departing/flying/landing process, that would be wonderful.
For some absurd reason, the airport is absolutely freezing and I am just sitting here in my dress and super lightweight cardigan shivering away and wishing I was in a warm bubble bath.
I wasn’t able to make my original flight (855am), so I’ve switched to an 1130am flight, which means that I now have two hours to kill at my gate. My sister is truly the best person ever - she woke up super early on her last day of summer holidays to bus two hours round trip to bring me my passport and get some money out of the ATM for me. Because of that, I was able to stop at Starbucks and get breakfast - a mighty mango Naked juice blended up with ice and a pumpkin cream cheese muffin (aka my favourite fall snack from Starbucks EVER).
I am almost all the way to the airport and I realize that I forgot my fucking passport.
My sister is coming to drop it off, so fingers crossed I can still make my flight.
I’m tired and I don’t want to go to the airport and my face is breaking out and ew, much gross.
On the plus side, I got a very nice 530am cuddle from a very happy Asia this morning.
I should probably go to bed. I need to wake up early and get to the airport and my feelings are starting to go to that place that really isn’t very good.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my sexual assault in the past several months, pretty much ever since I stopped pretending that it didn’t happen. It’s weird to finally acknowledge to myself that it was real. I think that I’m finally getting over the idea that it was my fault - I’m coming around to the fact that the only person at fault was him.
But that doesn’t change the fact that I often find myself curled up in a ball, crying, and wanting to scream.
I want to know when that part ends. When do things start to feel normal and okay again?
One day I want to be able to say I used to have an eating disorder. I used to struggle constantly with depression and anxiety. I used to self harm. I used to be consumed by my trauma.
One day I want to be able to say that those things are in my past, that they changed me, but will never define me.
That’s what I’m fighting for.